Burnout, Boundaries, and Finding My Why: A Personal Journey to Reclaiming Balance

Hey, hey friends! I took a small break, but I am back! In this post, I’ll open up about the pressure we put on ourselves—from the demands of our personal lives to work, and all the way down to our passions. Let’s hop in!

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My Struggles:

This past week has been a bit rough for me. I’ve been feeling burnt out, both from the demands of my personal life and from my passion for this blog. As much as I love what I do, I realized I needed to take a step back to rest and recharge. Sometimes, we push ourselves so hard that we forget to listen to what our body and mind are telling us.

I’ve mentioned before how I wear many hats in my everyday life, and to add to that, I am one of those people who wants to get things done and checked off—that is, until I have zero battery life left. Listen, I know—I knoooow I talk all the time about routines and self-care, but this is exactly why I want to share my struggles. It’s so easy to trick yourself into thinking you’re still within routine. Let me explain: I set time limits or blocks of time for tasks that I need or want to complete. I even go so far as setting a timer on my phone. Now, I feel pretty great with discipline, buuuut I am also very much the person who will break her own rules.

Let’s stick with the example of setting an alarm to control time limits for my tasks. To create a visual image, let’s say I’ve blocked out an hour to create and record content. I get all my equipment set out and ready, then hit start on my timer. Well, when that alarm goes off signaling that my hour of content time is up, I sometimes get so caught up in my creativity that I hit “snooze” on my alarm and tell myself, “Just 20 more minutes.” Well, what do you know—2 hours later, I’m STILL creating content, and now I have to force myself to stop so I can start dinner. Now, my content creation block has rolled over into my dinner prep/cooking block, and so on. The end result is that I either skip some other tasks on my to-do list OR I continue breaking my own productivity rules and finish all my tasks—resulting in me going to bed late.

Anyway…let’s add in several days (or weeks) of this, and what do you get? Burnout, baby!!!

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What Have I Learned?

During this break, I regained the understanding of truly listening to what my body needs and is asking of me—embracing discipline, rest, and reset, no matter what is on my to-do list. It’s super easy to get caught up in the hustle, especially when you’re passionate about your work, and I’ve discovered how very difficult it is to force yourself to take your time. Over the past week, when I’ve found myself wanting to fall back into the same habits of breaking time blocks, I’ve reminded myself that burnout doesn’t help anyone in the long run.

I’ve also realized that while I may want to complete or accomplish my goals in the “right now” space of time, stopping to ask myself how this will impact my long-term goals has helped me focus on taking my time. I’m learning to be okay with things not being accomplished when I planned for them to be. Now, I’m ready to get back to it—refreshed and with a renewed sense of purpose.

Here’s another important thing: we often lose sight of our purpose and our “why” — what made us start in the first place and what our goal is — by allowing our focus to shift from purpose to simply feeling accomplished.

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Tips on Managing and Avoiding Burnout:

If you’re feeling burnt out, here are three things that have helped me:

1. Set Boundaries (and STICK to them!) – Sometimes, saying ‘no’ to extra commitments is necessary for your mental health. Remember, saying ‘no’ also means saying no to yourself! If you’re thinking, “Well, how do I make sure I stick to the boundaries I set?” Let me help you out:

  a) Set realistic boundaries – If you know that you only have enough time for 2 errands, don’t commit to 4. (Y’all, if this sounds super specific, it’s because I’m talking to myself here—lol! But who can relate?)

  b) Be okay with not completing EVERYTHING on your to-do list – (Again, talking to myself too!) It helps to prioritize your tasks. Here’s how I do it: I do a “brain dump.” I sit down and write out everything on my mind, no matter what it is. If I’m feeling anxious about it, I write it down.

Here’s an example: grocery shopping, give dog a bath, wash my son’s hair, fold clothes, vacuum. Then, I take that list (however long or short) and put those items in order from most important to least important. For example:

High: Grocery shopping

Medium: Wash my son’s hair

Low: Give dog a bath, fold clothes, vacuum.

You can modify this list as you need to, but for me, I now have a very clear picture of what needs to be done first and what can get done IF I have time. If I don’t complete the lower priorities, I just move them to the next day’s list. Clears throat I’ll share a quick secret: I only recently took down my Christmas decor. 😂 Why? Because it was on the low priority list and kept getting moved to the next week’s to-do list. Newsflash: No one cares if your Christmas decor is still up! They might give it an eyebrow raise or a side-eye, but so what?! Remember, this is your life, your priorities, and your mental health. What you check off on your list is no one else’s business. Tell them to mind the business that pays them—and it is not your Christmas decor still being up. 😂

2. Take Breaks – Even if it’s just a few minutes of deep breathing or a walk, stepping away from the grind can help you regain clarity. Oh man, here I go again, admitting another productivity rule I found myself breaking. At some point, I stopped taking lunch breaks at work. Friends, take your breaks. Let me type it again—louder for you—ALLOW YOURSELF BREAKS! You don’t realize how much stepping away for 5 minutes can help. These days, even when I’ve taken all my breaks at work, if I find myself getting overwhelmed, I’ll step away for 5 minutes—go get water, a fresh cup of coffee, or go outside and get some fresh air. When I feel frustration setting in, I do deep breathing: breath in for the count of 5, and out for the count of 5. Repeat 3 times—or as many times as you find you need to.

Another trick I use is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise—a mindfulness strategy used to help reduce anxiety or overwhelm by focusing on your senses and the present moment. Here’s how to do it:

1. 5 things you can see

2. 4 things you can touch

3. 3 things you can hear

4. 2 things you can smell

5. 1 thing you can taste

You don’t have to actually engage with the actions, but simply identify them. It forces you to focus on the here and now, helping you ground yourself and reduce stress.

3. Reevaluate Your Why – When passion starts to feel like pressure, reminding yourself why you started can bring back your motivation. In case you’re thinking, “That sounds good, but how do I actually do this?” Don’t worry, friend, I got you! Here’s a simple method I created for myself: I turned WHY into an acronym to help guide me down the yellow brick road of my ‘why.’

Here’s how to do it:

W - What drives you?

Think about the things that truly motivate you—your passions and values that keep you going when things get tough. For me, I’m really into stretching, working out, meditation, and reflection—mental and physical health, as well as motivating myself and, in turn, sharing it with others to help motivate them. I know I’m not the only one struggling with a particular thing. Often, we feel alone, so I started my blog to keep myself accountable and share my story and tips to help others.

H - How do you want to impact others?

Reflect on the kind of impact you want to have, the transformation you hope to spark in others, and how their lives could improve because of your passion and vision. For me, I hope that my vision brings motivation, healing, and sparks a journey of transformation and positive lifestyle changes for those I reach.

Y - Your vision for the future.

Look ahead. What is your long-term vision? How do you want your work to fit into your bigger picture? Having a clear vision will help guide your next steps. For me, I hope to build a community and inspire others to plan, take action, and reach their goals. I believe in community. My journey began with finding and becoming part of a community that guided me to a transformation and lifestyle I had no clue would lead me to where I am and who I am now. I want that for others too!

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My Plan Going Forward:

I’m back with new energy, and I have a lot of exciting ideas and creative plans that I can’t wait to share with you all! The lesson I’ve learned is that taking care of myself allows me to show up better for this blog and for you, my amazing community.

Have you ever experienced burnout? How do you recharge when life gets overwhelming? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your tips!

Remember, friends, it’s okay to take a step back. Rest is part of the process. Let’s keep showing up for ourselves and supporting each other.

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Blissfully, Mali 🦋

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